When Stars Collide
by lilyofthelion
Summary: Follow Marlene McKinnon as she starts her sixth year at Hogwarts. She's dealing with the recent loss of her parents, guiding her siblings, school, friends and a certain leather jacket wearing marauder.
1. 27 Letters

Thick, unforgiving rain drops fell down on and all around Marlene McKinnon and her siblings as they stood huddled around their parents' graves. Fresh flowers, floating candles and notes of love filled the small space and successfully hid the recently dug earth in front of the graves. But not a thousand words of condolences or any number of flowers could fill the void in Marlene's life.

Her parents were dead.

Every time in the past couple of days when the thought hit her, it was immediately followed by the sensation of someone gripping her heart and pulling it out of her chest. She felt hollow in a new, unwelcome way that left her breathless. She almost wanted to look down herself to see a physical reason as to why she was hurting so.

The only one to blame, was her.

She felt responsible. It was impossible for her not to. As she looked at her siblings around her she felt an immediate sense of panic because she had no idea how to raise a child when she still felt so much like one herself.

Marlene was the second oldest of six siblings. Her older brother, Mathe, was an auror and they had not heard from him in months or seen him at the funeral. Her sister, Maisie, was one year younger than Marlene, Malcolm was two years younger and the youngest of them all was the twins, Madeleine and Maddox, who were five years younger than Marlene. They were too young for this kind of pain, Marlene thought, but knew there was nothing she could do to save them. Marlene let her eyes run over the inscriptions on the gravestone one more time.

 _Marcus McKinnon Sicily McKinnon_

 _Beloved Father Beloved Mother_

If she closed her eyes, Marlene could smell her mother's perfume and hear her father's loud laughter. He always laughed in a way that claimed the attention of all the people around him. Marlene swore that when her father laughed like that it could cure cancer and make blind people see.

Marlene wanted to remember them as they had been when they were still alive. She turned back from the stones in front of her as they seemed to taint the happy memories she so desperately wanted to hold on to. In the distance, she could see her friends all huddled together. Some appeared to have used the impervius charm as a shelter from the rain, others, like Lily Evans, simply held an umbrella over their heads. Mary MacDonald stood closest to Marlene and kept a watchful eye out for her. The girl hadn't moved for the past ten minutes and was positively soaked. The umbrella in her hand forgotten.

Marlene felt a little sick as she felt Madeleine's little, cold hand wrap around hers. She looked down into her sister's blue eyes, so like her own, so like their mother's. Guilt slowly built its way up from her stomach into her throat so much that she felt as if she would choke on it. The innocent face of her little sister only made her feel more broken.

"Marlene, what do we do now?" Madeleine asked. Her young voice was already stained with their mother's accent, but Marlene reckoned she'd lose it again soon enough.

It was a brilliant question, one Marlene wished to answer simply but she knew it couldn't be done. All she could think of was that this was her fault. People called her a Gryffindor and said it as a prideful thing. In the end, Marlene's bravery had been her parents' death sentence. Marlene didn't want to remember. She couldn't figure out what was wrong and what was right. She struggled with the selfishness that she knew she was lucky to be alive and the pain that she had been the very one to help end her parents' life. If she had just left things alone like they'd asked… A new emotion began to fill her body and it was one she'd known many times before. She was becoming numb. Nothing mattered to her in this moment. There was too much blood on her hands for her to ever be able to be a whole person again. She'd lost so much. Too many people had left her.

As she looked up at her friends again she was struck by the thought that if she simply disappeared, no one would ever have to suffer for her again. She closed her eyes. The pain drained her and pushed her to places she knew she could not come back from.

She had to find a way to be strong, but she had lost all ideas of how.

"Marlene"

The new voice brought Marlene back from her train of thoughts and she opened her eyes to see Euphemia Potter in front of her. Euphemia, who was head of the Auror department at the Ministry of Magic, had also been a close personal friend of her parents.

"Yes?"

"It's time to go" Euphemia always spoke in the same, solemn voice. Marlene remembered how, when she'd been younger, the woman had been so full of life. She figured the war had drawn the life out of her as it had about everything else.

"Yes" Marlene agreed. It _was_ time to go. She might not be ready now, but she knew she would never come to feel so.

"Where are we going?" Maddox asked. He was still young enough that he spoke in a pleasant, high voice "Home?"

Marlene didn't have the heart to tell the set of begging blue eyes that they no longer had a place that they could call so, but merely grabbed the twins' hands and put a smile on her face.

"Sort of".

* * *

Carolyn Dearborn was a loud, obnoxious woman, who just happened to be Marlene's new guardian and grandmother. Marlene wasn't particularly fond of the woman as she hated Marlene's father and never cared to keep it to herself even when he had been alive. She hated him about as much as she did tea. And that she loathed. As it was, Marlene's mother and grandmother were American. Her mother had attended Ilvermony, but had taken her seventh year at Hogwarts, where she'd met Marlene's father. When the young couple had decided to move to England together, Marlene's grandmother – an otherwise, esteemed full-blooded witch – had sworn off any and all things to do with the country. She could never really forgive Marlene's father for the fact that he took her daughter away from her, as she saw it. It also didn't help when her mother's little brother, Marlene's uncle Henry, had done the exact same thing two years later. Marlene's grandmother had moved to England when Marlene's mother had been killed to stay with the children, but Marlene did not see it as a blessing. She felt downright relieved when September first arrived and her sixth year at Hogwarts awaited. It gave her a brilliant excuse to leave the house.

"This tea tastes downright repugnant and what sort of blasphemy is it to put milk in it, too? I swear-"

Marlene gave up listening to her grandmother, who stood in the doorway of Marlene's room and cradled a cup of tea. Marlene simply continued to pack her trunk in a hurry. Her grandmother went on and Marlene ignored her as she carpeted her for not having packed her things sooner. Marlene bit her tongue not to snap back that if she hadn't had to pack all her younger siblings' suitcases _alone_ , she would've had more time to do her own.

"I thought they'd been teaching you things at that second-rate school of yours"

"They have, grandma, they just-"

"Don't talk back to me. Come down when you've finished. We're leaving soon" her grandmother told her, but she turned around and scoffed, "And do something with that face of yours!"

Marlene let out a huff that sent a stray curl away from her face. Marlene moved to the mirror in her room and met her reflection with tired eyes. She had inherited her mother's wild hair. It was dirty-blonde and always formed big and uncontrollable curls. She had a heart-shaped face, deep blue eyes that always failed to hide any and every emotion she felt. She was known for her wide, winning smile and an unending number of freckles that filled her face as randomly as the stars on the night sky.

Marlene's grandmother hated the freckles as they seemed to remind her of her son-in-law, Marlene's father.

Marlene fixed her face and successfully hid every freckle on it per her grandmother's request. She put on mascara and collected her hair in a high ponytail. Even with all the hassle, it would not be hard for anyone to see that Marlene had just suffered a great loss. It was as if the light in her eyes had left the world along with her parents.

"MARLEEEENE! Grandma says we're going to be late!" Maisie's voice bellowed up the stairs.

"Coming!" Marlene called.

She went back inside her room and looked around. It was filled with boxes Marlene had yet to unpack from her old house. Marlene didn't bother to check if she'd forgotten anything but shut her trunk with a little more force than necessary.

She left the trunk for a moment and walked to the window. On the sill, she'd left her most precious possession. Her mother's perfume. Marlene grabbed the tiny glass bottle and faced it towards her. She pushed the top once, softly. A spray of perfume hit her chest and she felt tides of memories roll over her along with it. As the smell reached her nose she could almost feel her mother's arms wrap around her again. The soft notes of citrus and jasmine made Marlene feel safe at once, and she allowed herself a foolish, childish moment where she pretended that she was home, and all was well. Sadly, she could not ignore the fact that she knew it was all an illusion. As she opened her eyes, she saw that everything and nothing had changed. Her mother was still gone and she was still in her new, yet unfamiliar bedroom.

She grabbed the tiny bottle and put it in her coat pocket. She did not look at her recently moved-in room for another minute, but brought her trunk downstairs as requested.

* * *

Marlene had never realised how loud platform nine and three quarters was. That was the first thing that struck her as she walked onto the platform. Her grandmother was in front of her with a twin in each hand. Malcolm and Maisie were already in a fight about who got to sit with their friends, and who had to watch the twins on the train ride. Marlene carried a trolley with a mountain of suitcases and frantically looked around for her friends, but couldn't find any of them.

All her eyes seemed to only be able to find was parents, who kissed their children goodbye or wished them a good new term and it sent an unknown pain straight to her heart. She wished her mother and father could have been here to see the twins off. She remembered all the other years they'd been here and the four of them had waved at Marlene and her other siblings. It seemed so unfair that they wouldn't get to see the last of their children go to Hogwarts and hear how they were sorted, but Marlene didn't have time to dwell on that now. It would do her no good.

Marlene hoped that her sixth year at Hogwarts would be kind to her, and at least felt a little comforted to know that she'd be surrounded by her friends.

Their grandmother stopped a few steps from the scarlet steam engine and turned to the horde of McKinnon children.

"All right, children. I expect you all to behave perfectly while you're at school. I know it's only Hogwarts, but you must act as your mother would've wished"

"Don't worry, grandma, I promise only to burn down the Potions classroom once this term" Malcolm said cheekily. Marlene meant to shoot him a stern glance, but she could feel a smirk build on her face.

"That's not funny, Malcolm"

"Of course not, grandma" he said with a wink at Marlene, who had to fake a cough to hide her laugh.

"Maddox and Madeleine, I wish you a great first year and hope by Circe that you'll be sorted into Ravenclaw" Carolyn said. Now, Marlene audibly let out a scoff.

They both kissed their grandmother's cheek, and Maisie made off quickly to help them to a compartment and escape their grandmother.

"Owl me, darling" Carolyn told Malcom before he stepped inside the train. Then the elderly woman turned to Marlene with lips so thin she looked even more stern than Professor McGonagall.

"As the oldest I expect you to look after your siblings" Carolyn told Marlene unsmilingly.

"Yes, grandma"

"I expect you to behave exemplary, to do your homework and not cause any form of trouble be it any sort of gallivanting with your friends or boys. I will have no letters about any sort of trouble or fornication or-"

"Bloody hell" a loud voice said from behind Marlene, and a moment later a pale, freckled arm wrapped around her shoulders.

Lily Evans was a tall, red-haired girl known for her incredibly brains, lovely personality and unrelenting cheek. The summer had turned her dark red hair a bit more ginger, and she had a fresh splash of freckles over her nose and cheeks. She wore a green summer dress, and looked so alive, Marlene felt a little jealous.

"And who might you be?" Carolyn asked.

"Grandma, this is Lily. You met her at the funeral" Marlene quickly said.

"Of course. Hello again"

"I'm sorry to interrupt" Lily told Carolyn kindly, "I just heard the word _fornication_ and had to see what poor Marlene had gotten herself into"

"It was more of a talk of what she shouldn't get herself into" Carolyn said in a controlled-calm voice.

"Well, I mustn't interrupt further. I'll see you on the train, Mars" Lily said with a wink at her friend and left. As Lily reached the step to the train, she turned and stuck her tongue out at Marlene.

"She's a prefect, grandma" Marlene said in a weak attempt to make her grandmother believe that she was friends with the kind of people she'd approve off.

"Miracles do happen" Carolyn responded drily. She kissed Marlene's cheek so briefly, if Marlene had closed her eyes she'd guessed it was just a breeze that touched her cheek. She felt no amount of sorrow as she left her grandmother at the platform and boarded the train. She would much rather find her friends instead.

* * *

"How many sickles on Potter?" a third-year Hufflepuff excitedly called over his shoulder to his friends just as Marlene passed them. She moved quickly through the train until she found the compartment her housemates had claimed.

The moment she entered it her four dormmates looked up at her and their faces fell. Alice Fortescue folded her hands solemnly and said nothing. She was a short girl with straight, shoulder-length hair the same colour as dark chocolate and a small, button nose. Dorcas Meadowes opened and closed her mouth wordlessly. Her dark hair and skin looked radiant after a long summer, and her hair was beautifully pinned back. She had an athletic figure and was Gryffindor's seeker. Lily simply licked her lips and watched Marlene. They all seemed to wait for the last person in the room to act, Mary MacDonald. She watched Marlene with soft, green eyes. She was not as tall as Marlene but was the one of the girls, who came the closest. Her light-brown hair was neatly braided down her shoulder and back. She watched Marlene with baited breath, and wore a worried look worthy of Marlene's deceased mother.

"Hi" Mary finally said.

It was not that they weren't happy to see Marlene, she knew that, but she had found that awkward silence and an expectance of a nervous breakdown was the common reaction that people had to seeing an orphan.

"Why are people talking about sickles and Potter?" Marlene asked. She was ready to talk about anything but her tragic life.

They all looked at her, surprised. Then Alice saved her.

"Sickles? Wow! People have moved on from knuts!" she exclaimed excitedly, which luckily seemed to make the other three go back to normal as well. Marlene sat down next to Mary. Dorcas sat in between Lily and Alice on the opposite seats of the compartment.

"What is going on?" Mary wanted to know. She shot a quick glance at Marlene, who waited in trained worry for what came next.

"Potter and Black have made a bet with Dearborn about who can fly to Hogwarts the quickest" Alice told them excitedly.

"I'm sorry, did you just say fly?" Marlene repeated, but she knew there was a good chance she hadn't misheard.

"Brilliant, isn't it?" Dorcas said with a grin, "Apparently, the point of it is to gain the affection of a certain girl. She is the reason behind the madness"

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here" Lily said. She looked slightly flushed, but Marlene couldn't tell if she was embarrassed or just hot.

"Oh, so it's true?" Mary asked, "You actually shagged Dearborn during the hols?"

Lily rolled her eyes, "I swear to bloody merlin, if someone asks me that one more time today"

"If people ask I'm still gonna say yes. It's a much better story" Dorcas asked told Lily, who flipped her the finger.

"Oh please do! I have twenty-two knuts on Potter" Alice said happily.

"Does no one care about my dignity in this?" Lily asked in a fake-exasperated voice as she flung her long hair over her shoulder.

In unison the four girls replied, "No".

"Bloody lot of good you are" Lily muttered and sunk in her seat.

"Going back to the bet – the boys are going to fly to Hogwarts? On actual brooms?" Marlene asked.

"I'd be a lot more exciting had they chosen hippogriffs, I think" Alice mused and shrugged her shoulders.

"I believe Marlene was looking for a yes-or-no answer" Mary advised Alice.

"You know how they are" Alice told Marlene with a wave of her hand.

"I think we need to teach you the definition of a yes-or-no answer" Mary laughed, and Marlene felt herself heal a little at the sound of it.

"Where's your snugglepuff?" Dorcas questioned Alice, referring to her boyfriend. The question sent Lily into a grand show of kissing-noises.

Alice scoffed, "I've asked you a zillion times to stop calling him that!"

"I can't help it! It fits him so well" Dorcas said and meant to go on but was interrupted by an overexcited cheering from the other compartments in the train.

"It's starting!" Lily called in a high-pitched voice and jumped from her seat to look out the window. The other girls joined her instantly. Marlene looked down the train and saw other students doing the same, including her siblings. She met Maisie's eyes and her little sister beamed at her.

"I feel like you should wave your bra around or something, Lils. Give the boys a proper send-off" Dorcas teased, and swiftly ducked the gum that Lily threw at her.

Sure enough, a moment later James Potter's obnoxious and silly voice cold be heard. He must've used an amplifying spell, Marlene guessed, as they could all hear every word he said with no trouble.

"Greetings all and welcome to a brand-new year at Hogwarts!"

"Who knew he could even spell sonorous?" Lily whispered in Marlene's ear, but she wore a small smile on her lips as she listened on.

"To start with, I'd like to congratulate all who are here to witness this historical moment! Today I, as well as two other brave men, will attempt to travel to Hogwarts by broom!"

An expected amount of ooh's and aah's filled the train as well and James Potter wore a grin almost too big to fit on his head. The boy was so excited he was positively chomping at the bit.

"I should stop this, right?" Lily the prefect asked, but she made no motion whatsoever to even attempt to fulfil her words.

"Don't you dare" Dorcas warned Lily, who lifted up two hands in defeat.

"The rules are as follow: whoever first reaches the castle have won" James explained from his broom.

"Did he really need to explain that?" Mary asked, and Marlene was certain that the girl rolled her eyes without having to turn to see.

James went on, "It is in a moment like this that we must all appreciate the truly inspiring and profoundly brilliant sport of Quidditch. Not only does it teach us the important lessons of-"

"Get on with it, mate" A voice cut James off. And it was not just a voice, but the voice Marlene had most wanted to hear for the past two months. The voice belonged to the handsome and daring Sirius Black. Marlene's heart forgot how to proper function for a moment at the sound of it, and her eyes moved until they found him. He sat on his broom and wore a leather jacket. His hair was tied back in a bun and gave her free visual access to the excited grin on his face. Marlene turned her eyes away at once. She felt a sudden need to sit down as she heard him laugh the next moment. He looked happy and carefree and not at all like he had spent a single minute all summer to think of her. He surely hadn't bothered to owl her.

The only thing that kept her in her spot was that she was certain she had the attention of all her friends as they watched her cheeks turn pink at the sight of the boy.

"Did you hear that Black ran away from home?" Lily asked the girls. This was definitely news to Marlene, who suddenly lost interest in staring at the idiot boys on the broomsticks and turned to her friends for more information.

"What? When did this happen?"

"Two weeks into the holiday" Alice informed them, "Apparently, he's been living with James ever since"

Marlene did not know this, but she did not feel surprised. It was no secret that for the past five years when the rest of them left Hogwarts to see their loving homes, Sirius would go back to hell. She was happy that he had finally found a home, but it also made a realization come to her mind. She'd been utterly surprised when he'd showed up at her parents' funeral. She'd thought it meant that he might have felt something for her…but now she felt certain that he was probably forced to go by James or Euphemia. He'd went out of duty, and not a sudden, unexplained need to care for her.

"Right, right. We shall now start the first ever Hogwarts Broom Race! Are you excited!" A round of cheers rolled over the train like a wave of thunder and just then a whistle was blown to signal the departure of the steam engine.

Had Marlene looked up she would have seen that Sirius Black had actually now spotted her and watched her. However, she was much too distracted by the sour feeling in her gut to notice the boy's attention.

"They'll get themselves expelled for sure" Mary said to no one in particular.

The boys all lined up side by side. Further down the train a countdown could be heard. Marlene easily identified the voice as belonging to their housemate, Remus Lupin.

"Three!"

"At least I'm not the only one neglecting my prefect duties!" Lily laughed as she realized whom the voice belonged to, as well.

"Two!"

Marlene looked back at Sirius. He had now grabbed his broomstick as if his life depended on it. He looked so filled to the brim with excitement, he could barely contain it. He was rocking slowly from side to side on the broom. A motion that seemed to distract Caradoc Dearborn so much, he didn't hear the countdown finish.

"One! Go go go!"

Sirius and James shot through the air like arrows. Caradoc quickly followed, and Dorcas clapped her hands in excitement.

"Are you sure you're related?" Mary asked Marlene in a laugh and shook her head.

"For a Ravenclaw, he's not the brightest owl in the parliament" Lily sighed contently.

"I would like to see written confirmation before I trust that Caradoc's my cousin" Marlene said with a roll of her eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous. Even a blind man could see you're related" Lily told Marlene.

"Well, you've shagged him, you'd know" Mary teased, and Lily looked just about ready to explode when a knock on the compartment door saved Mary.

"Snugglepuff!" Dorcas cried happily, which identified Mary's savior instantly.

"I thought we agreed you'd stop calling me that" Peter Pettigrew said in a tired voice as he sat down and wrapped his arm around Alice.

"I don't reckon you did" Dorcas said in a faux-confused voice. Remus stepped inside the compartment after Peter and his eyes instantly landed on Lily.

"Good job of prefecting you did there, eh?" Lily commented drily, and gave a nod at Remus, who scratched the back of his head and wore a lazy smile on his face.

"I made sure the ongoing activity was performed in a cool and collected manner" Remus defended himself as he took a seat next to Mary, who scoffed loudly.

"Practiced that, did you?" she asked.

"Dumbledore won't buy that for a second" Lily informed Remus, who did not look too bothered.

"Please, Dumbledore loves the marauders" Peter told Lily and referred to him and his mates with their self-proclaimed nickname, "He'll only be sorry he wasn't here to witness it himself"

"James did say to invite him" Alice reminded the boys.

"Speaking of Potter" Mary said with a sly smile on her lips "How many letters did you receive this summer, Lily?"

Lily groaned loudly but to no avail. Her friends would show her no mercy when it came to tease her about James' many and entertaining ways of trying to court her. This was their self-invented game that they played every summer. Basically, James sent Lily an obscene number of letters every summer and had done so since their third year, when the game had been created.

"Must we do this every bloody year?" Lily complained, but her words met only deaf ears. Mary had already pulled out a pen and parchment and begun to try to calculate an average and go from there. Alice and Dorcas fought loudly about how many he'd sent her after fourth year.

"You're mad! He did not only send her 12 letters! You're thinking of Christmas break!"

"Should we do something to defend our mate's dignity?" Peter could be overheard asking Remus over the noise of his girlfriend's loud snort.

Remus shrugged, "Not much left to salvage, is there?"

"I'm ready with my guess!" Mary declared loudly as if it was interesting enough to make the front page of the Prophet.

"How many was it last year again?" Peter asked merrily.

"17" Mary replied instantly.

"I remembered it as more?" Remus commented.

"Oh Rem, you're thinking of the Christmas holiday. During summer, he sent her 22 letters" Alice told them.

"Barmy Potter" Lily muttered.

"I'm guessing 35" Dorcas said happily, "He must've upped his game somehow since Lily still won't go out with him"

"Nah, that's way too much" Alice said, "I'd still like to believe he has his pride. I'll go with 30"

"Because 30 letters are much more prideful than 35?" Dorcas teased.

"If we take the previous years into account his number of letters have grown exponentially. If you think about the number of letters per summer and then think of the total average that means he's sent circa 4 letters more from holiday to holiday and therefore my guess would be 26" Marlene told her friends. She'd gazed out the window as she spoke, but now turned her head to find that everyone in the room stared at her.

"Ravenclaw" Peter fake-coughed into his fist, and all the girls instantly sent him a threatening glare.

"Well, that's a waste of parchment" Mary said in a fake-resigned manner and smiled proudly at her best friend's brains.

"Can I have the pen?" Dorcas asked and made a grab for it, but Mary instantly pulled her hand back.

"Don't give her that. The clicking noise will kill me" Lily warned Mary.

"How do they click?" Peter wanted to know.

"Oh! Look at this!" Alice excitedly said and managed to grab the pen before Mary could react.

"It's all down to you, MacDonald" Lily said. No matter how much she complained that she didn't like it when they teased her about the letters, it was evident she enjoyed their game.

"I'll say 32" Mary said, "It feels like a good number"

"Someone's getting serious about Divination" Marlene teased her, and Mary rolled her eyes at her friend.

 _Click_.

Peter's face transformed into one of an excited child's and his mouth fell open in wonder as he moved the top of the pen up and down.

 _Click click click._

"I told you not to let them have it" Lily sighed.

"Boys, you want to throw in some guesses?" Marlene asked them.

"I feel it would be a betrayal of Marauder loyalty" Remus responded. Peter was much too distracted by the pen to even hear the question.

"Alright! And the correct answer is…" Lily started and all but Peter and the pen made a drumroll by beating their hands again their thighs.

"27!" Lily finally told them. This made Marlene laugh happily. She was closest, so she had won the game.

The prize for winning had been decided upon the Christmas after the first summer of letters. They all owed her a favor each of her own choice and she could claim it at any time during the term.

 _Click. Click. Click._

"Ruddy game" Alice said and crossed her arms over her chest. She was one of the top students in their year and was incredibly competitive. She was also a very sore loser.

"Way to go, Mars!" Mary said and squeezed Marlene's shoulder.

"Lily, did you reply to any of the letters?" Dorcas asked Lily, but they already knew the answer to that.

"And give him hope that I'd cave one day? Absolutely not" Lily said and got up from her seat.

 _Click click click._

"Coming, Remus?" she asked. It was time for their prefects' meeting, and Remus got up to join her. With a swift move he managed to nick the pen from Peter as he left the compartment.

"Oi!" Peter called.

" _Thank_ you!" Mary said at the same time.

"One day she's going to realize she's madly in love with him" Alice said dreamily as she watched Lily leave. Mary, who was not known for being a romantic, rolled her eyes.

"Please, Al, that's never going to happen. I don't care if she claims it's not true, I think she actually hates the boy!"

"Lily isn't one to hate" Dorcas said diplomatically.

Marlene agreed with Dorcas' statement but didn't say it out loud. She looked out the window as the others kept going on with their eternal discussion on Lily and James' non-existent relationship.

27 letters. Lily had received 27 letters from a boy she mostly ignored. Lily didn't treat James badly on purpose, but his consistent pursuing of her made her agitated enough to react uncharacteristically spiteful.

Still, Marlene couldn't believe it. How could it possibly be that Lily got so much attention from a boy she barely looked at, when Marlene herself hadn't heard a single word from Black the entire summer?

She knew that it was wrong to be this upset about something as unimportant as her teenage crush, when her parents had just died, but Marlene's mind worked in odd ways.

Marlene didn't like to think she was jealous of Lily per se. She was more likely jealous of what Lily had. She had a boy, who brightened up whenever she was in the room. Marlene saw what Lily didn't in James' multiple attempts for her attention. She saw the earnest in his actions. The true intention that was overshadowed by James' own stupid way of acting. However, Marlene felt a little bitter whenever she thought about the topic. Maybe she could see it so clearly because it was everything she didn't have herself.

She'd always seen her instant commitment to every little thing she decided to care about as one of her strengths. Now, as she spent more time thinking about a boy, who most certainly wasn't worth her consideration and attention than talking to her friends, she suddenly wasn't so sure. She continued to look out the window as her thoughts fell over one another in her head.

In the distance, James and Sirius could be spotted bumping into each other and doing loops over the rolling hills.

* * *

"Are you nervous?" Mary whispered to Marlene as the two girls were seated at the Gryffindor table and surrounded by their housemates.

Marlene had noticed quite a few people who'd stared at her as she entered the Great Hall along with the other sixth year Gryffindors and wondered when people would lose their interest in her. Surely, the war had caused so many children to be orphans now that it would have lost its uncalled-for fascination.

"Why would I be nervous?" Marlene replied. Her eyes were focused on Sirius, who sat three seats down to her left and talked animatedly to James. Had Marlene not known that Sirius had moved in with the Potters, she almost felt sure she would've guessed that something had changed. She knew that he had always looked handsome but now it seemed as if the two months of summer had done him a world of good. There was something different about him.

Marlene noticed the hint of a new tattoo behind his rolled-up sleeve and the leather jacket he'd worn before he'd changed into his school uniform had fit him painfully well. But it was more than that. There was a new light in his eyes and an easiness to the way he talked. It was like he had calmed down for the first time in the six years she'd known him, and she had never before realised how wound up he'd been. He looked healthier. He walked with more confidence, which was something Marlene could've sworn was not possible. His comments were flirtier and cheekier, and his eyes held a new level of assertiveness that she couldn't ignore.

Mary elbowed Marlene's ribs to get her to refocus. Marlene rubbed at her ribs and offered Mary a scathing glare.

"Maddox and Madeleine?" Mary asked as if Marlene would have forgotten about her sibling's sorting completely.

"They'll be fine" Marlene replied even though the slightest note of anxiety was evident in her voice.

Marlene moved her gaze from Sirius to the Ravenclaw table where her eyes found her younger sister, Maisie. The girl was easy to spot as she had the McKinnon-trademark blonde hair and was seated between her two best friends.

Marlene only looked long enough to make sure her sister looked fine and then searched for the twins amongst the first years. They, too, could be spotted from their curly mop of blonde hair. Madeleine seemed quite tense from the way she looked around fretfully. Maddox, on the other hand, had already fallen into chatter with two other boys. Madeleine's blue eyes met Marlene's and she offered her little sister a full smile. She was certain they'd be sorted into Ravenclaw. After all that is where they were supposed to belong.

Marlene McKinnon could not remember how many times her family had acted disappointed due to the fact that she had been sorted into Gryffindor. It was odd, too, Marlene was aware of that.

Her father, uncle Henry, aunt Lisa and all her cousins were sorted into Ravenclaw. Her mother, too, had been sorted into that house for her seventh year. All of Marlene's siblings had been sorted into it too, and Marlene had been the first and last of them to not be a Ravenclaw.

Marlene had been shocked when the Sorting Hat had appointed her to the lion house. Marlene's mother, Sicily McKinnon, had written Professor Dumbledore to say that a mistake had to have been made. No child of hers were valued for bravery over brains. However, there had been no mistake. The Sorting Hat was not to be doubted and the headmaster had felt it had made a right decision.

Marlene's mother had been furious for longer than she was ever willing to admit.

"Did you receive your invitation yet?" Marlene whispered tiredly as the Sorting Hat began its song.

"Ha! Yes, it arrived just before I left for King's Cross. Your aunt doesn't waste any time, does she?"

Marlene's aunt, Lisa Dearborn, celebrated each of her children's and nephew's and niece's sorting into Ravenclaw with a party that was always held on New Year's Eve.

"That she doesn't" Marlene replied a little too bitterly. Marlene's party had been much less extravagant than her siblings' parties had as everyone had been too shocked to pretend not to be upset about her sorting. The only one who'd seemed to enjoy themselves at the party was Marlene's grandmother, but of course she never took the Hogwarts' sorting too seriously to begin with.

The two girls quieted down as they watched the very first of the first years be sorted into Hufflepuff. The entire badger table went wild and clapped and hooted as the nervous-looking eleven-year-old girl walked to her table.

"Do you know what Maddox and Maddie wants?" Mary inquired. Marlene saw her siblings pull at their robes in a nervous manner and locked her eyes on them. If she were lucky they'd look for her and she could send them an encouraging smile.

"They're eleven" Marlene replied, "They want what mum would've wanted"

"Didn't stop you" Mary said, and wrapped an arm around Marlene, "But I always knew you were special"

Marlene smiled, but it was all for show. She didn't feel special. Most of the time she just felt tired. She didn't have time to respond as Professor McGonagall called her brother's name.

"McKinnon, Maddox"

The headmistress placed the sorting hat on top of Maddox's unruly blond curls and Marlene wound her hands so tight it hurt a little.

"Ravenclaw!" the hat called out. Marlene jumped from her seat and clapped her hands loudly. She watched her little brother go join Malcolm and Maisie. Her siblings all hugged Maddox, who then turned to watch Madeleine get sorted.

"McKinnon, Madeleine" McGonagall's voice loudly declared. The young girl sat down in front of the entire Great Hall and the sorting hat was placed on her head.

"I shall say…Rave- no wait, ah. I guess it is…Hufflepuff!"

Marlene felt her heart fall and she stayed in her seat. She was sure that if she turned her head to the Ravenclaw table, she'd see her other siblings look as gobsmacked as she felt. She watched Madeleine look beyond confused as she walked to the Hufflepuff table, and looked back at her siblings in confusion.

"What just happened?" Marlene asked in a slightly hysterical voice. She turned to look at her friends, who watched her like they worried she was about to explode.

Lily grabbed her hands, "It's okay, Mars. She ended up where she needs to be"

"She needs to be with her siblings! She's going to be all alone!" Marlene snapped loudly, which attracted the attention of more people than she would've normally liked, but in the moment, she was too upset to care.

"She's not! She'll make friends! Everyone loves Maddie" Alice assured her quickly.

Dorcas said, "Hufflepuffs are so friendly!"

"They're right" Mary said as she took Marlene's hand, "She'll find a way"

Marlene felt defeated. All she had wanted was to keep what was left of her family together and now that was going to be impossible.

She looked out into the crowd to see her younger sister look awfully pale. Marlene didn't want her to feel isolated on top of everything else that had happened.

"Maddie is the kindest soul I know. It makes sense she's a Hufflepuff. You always say how much she sticks up for Maddox" Mary told Marlene in a soothing voice.

Marlene rubbed her forehead, "Yes, yes. I mean, yeah, I am happy for her"

"Say that without clenching your teeth and we'll believe you" Lily told her in a kind voice. Marlene forced herself to take a deep breath. She was beginning to sound an awful lot like the rest of her family.

Marlene left her friends in the great hall to go see Madeleine. Lily had called after her that she was sure the Hufflepuff prefects knew the way to their own common room, but Marlene wouldn't hear it.

She just needed to talk to Madeleine and know that she was okay.

* * *

An hour later Marlene returned to Gryffindor tower to a blissfully empty common room. It was usual one the first day back that people were so tired from the train ride and the banquet that they went to bed early. Marlene leaned back against the wall next to the portrait hole and closed her eyes with a tired sigh.

She had managed to calm Madeleine down after half an hour, and even make her feel excited about this turn of events. Marlene would have to find the rest of her siblings tomorrow and talk about how they could support their sister now.

Marlene had just started to feel a little less stressed herself when her peace was interrupted.

"Hey, Venus"

Marlene jumped and opened her eyes instantly. She turned her head to find that she was in fact not alone in the common room. In a seat on the armchair a few feet from her sat none other than Sirius Black. He smiled at her in that devil-may-care way of his that he had perfected. It was known for its ability to make all the stupid girls' knees go weak. Marlene didn't know exactly when she'd become one of those stupid girls, but she certainly did not appreciate the feelings he brought to her.

"I've asked you not to call me that" she told him and placed her hands on her hips. Maybe if she pretended to be tough, she'd reach a point where she actually felt it too.

He watched her with grey eyes that - for the first time since she'd met him - looked to have cleared a little.

"Glad to be back?" he asked her simply. He got up from the wall and walked to her. Marlene felt her hands grow clammy and her heart pick up and she hoped by Merlin that he wouldn't notice how nervous he made her. He then placed a hand on the wall next to her head and was much closer than her sanity could handle. Black had never been one to understand the common courtesy that was personal space, but Marlene also guessed that he probably just liked to see her squirm.

"Oh, yes. Life's wonderful once again now that I get to go to school" she responded drily. Her lips curled at little and she felt a little like her old self.

"There's that sass I love" he told her with a grin, and leaned so close she could feel his breath on her face "I'm sure your grandmother's proud"

"Oh, my _grandmother_ " Marlene muttered and placed a hand to her forehead. She forgot for a moment that she was meant to be affected by him. She had not thought of how her grandmother would react to the news of Madeleine's sorting, but Marlene was certain she'd find a way to blame this on Marlene being a bad older sister.

Sirius' laugh brought her back to him and she straightened up a bit.

"Try to keep yourself out of trouble, McKinnon" he told her in a flirty voice that made her cheeks turn pink. A shiver ran through her and she was sure he'd noticed.

"I will" she said. She worried too long sentences would not be in her favour.

He finally moved away from her and she let go of a breath she hadn't realised she was holding. She watched him walk towards the boys' staircase. He'd just stepped onto the first step when he turned back to look at her.

"Oh, and McKinnon?"

"What?" she asked as she quickly composed her face once again.

"You smell nice" he told her with a wink and then disappeared up the stairs to his dormitory.

Marlene leaned back against the wall and felt hot all of a sudden. What the hell was that?


	2. Riding on Broomsticks with Boys

Author's note: Hi! Welcome to my new fic! I'd like to start by saying THANK YOU to my first reviewers _TurnTheDirtIntoJoy_ and _WitherFire_. You guys made me so happy!

This is my first multi-chap marauders era fanfic. I will try to follow canon as much as possible but might change a few things to fit this story better.

I apologise in advance for my poor skills at poetry in this chapter, and hope you all enjoy it!

Disclaimer: J.K.R owns Harry Potter and its characters.

* * *

Marlene had always loved Quidditch. The infatuation had started on her seventh birthday when her father had taken her to see a game. Marlene had dreamt of joining her house's team every year from then until that fateful day in her second year when she had first attended try-outs. Marlene soon came to find after having fallen off a broom one or five times that she would much rather enjoy the sport from the ground. When her good mate and housemate, James Potter, had been made Captain of Gryffindor's Quidditch team he had made Marlene his unofficial co-captain of sorts. She helped him book practices, talk tactics and set up the pitch before every practice.

On a rainy Thursday morning Marlene was the first to arrive at the Quidditch pitch. She'd made sure get there at the crack of dawn and piled up the school broomsticks to check them before the first years had to fly them.

She still had some time to kill before the players and James arrived for practice, which was how she preferred it.

The day before had been most hectic and annoying, and she strongly needed some kind of outlet. She grabbed a bludger and a bat and released the jet-black ball. Even when she was on foot, the bludger went for her. She slammed it away from her with the bat with a force few knew she had.

The paper cut on her finger still stung as she grabbed the bat tighter. She'd gotten it the previous morning when she'd opened her post and found three letters from her grandmother. They all said the same thing; that Marlene was unfit as a role model in her siblings' life. Lisa Dearborn was having a fit over the fact that Madeleine had gotten sorted into Hufflepuff and had taken it all out on Carolyn, who took it out on Marlene. Carolyn had even dared write to Marlene that her parents wouldn't have been proud of her.

Marlene hit the bludger again, harder.

She did not feel sad in the moment. That was yesterday. A new, much more dominating emotion filled her body as she stood on the pitch. She felt downright pissed off. She had given up most of her life the past three days to make sure her siblings settled into school okay. She barely had the energy to talk to her friends when they asked if she was okay.

Was she okay?

Marlene did not even know. She was too tired to think about it and just hit the bludger over and over.

It was not as if Marlene's parents wouldn't have found a way to accept Madeleine's sorting. Of course, they would have. They had accepted Marlene. The fact that her grandmother had even suggested the opposite…well, it broke Marlene's heart. No matter what the rest of her family had said, Marlene had never doubted that her parents were on her side. Until now.

Doubt clawed its way at her mind and suddenly she felt confused at what had really happened and what she might simply remember wrong.

None of this was fair. Marlene felt hopeless as she watched the bludger go near her. She just wanted a moment of peace. That was all. To be freed from her grandmother's letters and her aunt Lisa's pestering and her own troubled mind.

Marlene felt as if the next thing that happened wasn't her own choice. She just felt so worn out she didn't even notice as her grip on the bat slipped, and it left her hands.

She wasn't sure if she had decided to let it drop. She just knew she needed a moment's rest.

She realised her mistake as she heard the sound of the bat hit the ground. Her heart started to beat so loud she couldn't think, and she watched the iron ball getting closer, closer, closer.

It would hit her. Marlene would not have time to pick up the bat. Her hand frantically went for the wand in her robes and only then did she remember that she'd taken it off and left it with the spare broomsticks.

There was no time left to move and nothing left for her to do. She could only close her eyes and brace for impact.

She had expected some sort of collision, but she had not foreseen what happened next. Suddenly, she was thrown to the ground. She landed hard and her knee instantly stung as she twisted it.

She blinked. She had no idea how she was still uninjured. She barely had time to refocus where she was, when she was thrown to the side once more. She had closed her eyes again and didn't see the bludger hit inches from her head, but she felt a wave of air from the force of the collision and felt the dirt hit her face.

She finally opened her eyes and the first thing that came into view as she focused was a set of familiar grey eyes. She realised with a blush that Sirius Black had landed on top of her, and for some reason that pissed her off greatly.

"Get off me!" Marlene hissed and pushed the startled boy off of her. She stood up too quickly and winced as she felt a sting of pain in her knee. She looked up as she still felt wildly confused, and what met her was the sight of Sirius Black as he struggled a little to refasten the bludger into the case that held the Quidditch balls. Sadly for her, he had had a moment longer to collect himself and turned to her with an angry yet surprised look on his face. It was no mystery what he felt in that moment.

He looked furious.

"Are you bloody mad?" Sirius yelled at her as he gestured wildly to the bludger he'd fastened.

"I-"

"You could've been killed!" he yelled again. He seemed completely unaware of the volume of his voice or else he was still in shock. Marlene couldn't tell.

"I didn't mean to" Marlene said weakly. She instantly felt guilty and stupid but most of all embarrassed that he'd caught her in a moment of weakness.

"Didn't mean to what? Huh? What the hell were you even doing? Testing what the insides of your skull would look like on the grass?"

"Please don't tell anyone" Marlene said, which she realised might not be the first thing she should focus on, but the words had been said.

"I wouldn't even know what to say – you were – I mean, you tried to…did you?" he asked.

For the first time in her life, Marlene saw a look of sincerity on Sirius Black's face. If the situation had been any other, she would've felt slightly proud that she had been the one to put it there. Now, she just felt foolish.

"No" Marlene said as she decided it, "I didn't… I was just trying to get some peace and quiet"

"Well, offing yourself sure will grant you that. Though I do believe there are less fatal ways to relax" he told her. The humour in his voice was forced, but she appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

"It won't happen again" she said, which was a promise she felt incapable to make seeing as how she still wasn't sure what had just happened.

Sirius watched her for another moment before he dared move. He ran a hand through his long hair and Marlene noticed that his fingers shook a little.

"I'm sorry if I scared you" she said. Sirius looked up at her with steel in his eyes. Whatever he felt, it was clear that he had no interest that she should see it.

"When was the last time you slept?" he asked her after he watched her for a moment.

"June" Marlene replied, dead-pan. He offered her a small smile.

"Well, do you want to stay and have a fly with the team or do you want to go to breakfast?" he asked her, and turned back to the quaffle to release it from the case.

"Uh, breakfast" Marlene told him and shifted her weight from her right leg to her left, "I can't fly to save the life of me"

Sirius spun around on his heel, "What did you say?"

"That I can't fly?" Marlene said carefully.

"But…you're always here? At the pitch?" he looked surprised by this knowledge.

"But you've never seen me on a broom, have you?" Marlene asked with a smile.

"I guess not" Sirius said as he realised it, "Don't you want to learn?"

"In a perfect world" Marlene said with a shrug. She gathered her robes and wand that she'd left on the ground and offered Sirius one last look before she left the pitch.

* * *

"I may have just tried to kill myself" Marlene announced as she entered her dorm, "Unintentionally" she added.

Mary and Lily, who were both in the midst of dressing in their uniforms, looked up startled. Dorcas opened the bathroom door wrapped in a towel and placed her hands on her hips.

"How do you unintentionally intentionally try to off yourself?" Dorcas asked.

"By letting almost letting a bludger go through my head?" Marlene said carefully. Naturally, chaos ensued.

" _What_?!" Lily yelled.

"Marlene!" Dorcas cried.

Mary, however, was frozen in the motion of fastening her tie around her neck and had gone quite pale.

"I was just tired for a moment, okay? And I dropped the bat, but I swear I didn't mean to"

"Marlene, you've been pushing yourself too hard with your siblings and the school start-up and everything" Lily said diplomatically.

"Lily's right" Dorcas agreed, "It's only the first week and you're exhausted. I mean it's natural given…"

"Given that my parents died two weeks ago" Marlene finished for her. Marlene didn't look at Dorcas as she spoke, but had her eyes fixed on her mute best friend.

"I'm sorry" Marlene said very softly and walked across the small dorm to sit down on her best friend's bed, "I swear I didn't mean to"

Mary finally looked at her. The green in her eyes was slightly hidden behind fresh tears that dared to spill.

" _Didn't mean to_?!" she repeated mockingly "Marlene, I get that you're sad, but you could've been killed! Do you have any idea how many people would be crushed if you were hurt? Not to mention that every day your brother is fighting for his life on dangerous missions and you're just – ugh!" Mary's voice had turned high as she had started to cry, and Marlene was pretty sure she was the only one who even understood what the girl had said. She wrapped her arms around Mary and let the girl cry.

"I'm sorry" she repeated as there wasn't much else to say. Mary looked back up at Marlene and angrily wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Just promise me you'll be more careful, okay? I know you're in pain but maybe, maybe, find another outlet for it?"

"Okay" Marlene promised her, "I'll try"

The girls didn't speak of the bludger incident as they walked to the Great Hall for breakfast together. Marlene had carefully not mentioned that Sirius had been the one to save her from herself. Ever since Marlene had first started to fancy him in their fifth year she could rarely bring him up without her friends reacting with relentless methods to embarrass her.

"I'm only sitting with you for a minute. I promised Peter I'd eat with him" Alice announced as the girls sat down next to her. It was well into their first week of sixth year and Marlene still felt people's eyes follow her whenever she was in the Great Hall.

With a sigh she asked, "Shouldn't people have found something better to talk about now than my dead parents?"

Lily and Mary, who sat across from Marlene, shared a look. Lily grabbed a piece of toast and started to butter it while Mary poured herself some tea. They seemed to deliberately not answer her.

"What?" asked Marlene.

"Well," Lily started but bit into her toast to save herself some time. Marlene waited impatiently as her friend chewed, swallowed and cleared her throat. Dorcas sat back and wore a happy look as she watched her friends stumble over their words.

"There might be another reason for why people are staring" Mary told Marlene.

"Like, what? Have I grown horns or a tail or something that I don't know?"

"Ha, I wish! But you have kinda changed over the summer" Mary said, "Uh, you know you've _grown_ "

"Grown?" Marlene repeated and looked down her own body. She hadn't been eating much since her parents died and had always had a willowy build due to her height.

"You look very pretty" Lily said carefully as she noticed Marlene look at herself.

"Oh, for the love of Merlin! Just tell the girl!" Dorcas said impatiently and started to pile eggs and sausages onto her plate.

"It is as if your legs grew five miles this summer and, uhm, you actually have breasts now"

"Also, your hair always looks like you've just had a good shag" Lily pointed out. Dorcas laughed and nodded her head and picked up one of Marlene's curls. Marlene smacked her hand away and frowned at her friends' words. She then turned in her seat and found that the only people who still looked at her were boys and a few select girls.

"Oh" Marlene said. She hadn't really thought that there might be a normal, no-drama, no-death related reason as to why she'd caught people's attention. She had had to get new skirts for school and her mother had taken her bra-shopping at the beginning of summer. Her mother had raved about she now had to send a woman back to Hogwarts and how quickly Marlene had grown up.

"It's not a bad thing, love. You're beautiful" Mary said with a smile, "You've always been, of course, but now it's just the kind that might attract attention. From boys"

Marlene felt awkward and a little flushed at her friends' words. She, of course, had noticed herself changing but she had somehow not expected that other people would as well. She felt embarrassed at the thought.

"It's natural" Alice assured Marlene as her cheeks turned a delicate pink, "We all go through it. Like when we got our periods"

"That was too much sharing though, I'm not doing that again" Lily said and frowned, which made Marlene and the other girls laugh.

"Pete's here. I'm off" Alice told the girls. She kissed the top of Marlene's head and then walked to Peter to sit next to him. The girls all watched Peter grab her hand and lean over to kiss her cheek.

"She is so lucky that she actually fancies the person her parents want her to marry" Dorcas said dreamily as they all watched their friend.

"Really is" Mary agreed, "I still can't believe they're engaged!"

"Mars, can you imagine if your parents had been that traditional?" Lily asked.

"Oh, bloody hell. They'd probably set me up with someone like…like James!" Marlene said and just then James walked into the Great Hall and the girls burst into laughter.

"What's so funny?" James called at the girls as he said down across from Alice and Peter.

"We're just arranging your marriage to Marlene!" Mary called back with a wink. James' face instantly broke into a smile.

"Well, I could do a lot worse" he said with a smirk, "But sadly my heart's already taken" he finished, and his eyes moved to Lily's.

Lily instantly blushed, looked away, and stuffed her mouth with toast. It was an odd reaction and the first time Marlene had seen the girl pass up an opportunity to give a clever comeback.

"Worse even" Dorcas said as an idea came to her mind, "Can you imagine if your grandmother had to set you up now?"

"Oh, don't put that in my head. I'll have nightmares for months" Marlene said as she considered all the horrible outcomes as well as how little her grandmother would care about Marlene's own wishes.

"She'd probably set you up with someone like Rosier or Mulciber" Mary said and shuddered as her eyes moved to the Slytherin table.

"If you were lucky" Lily muttered, "That woman actually scares me"

"You and me both, Lils" Marlene agreed, and the two girls clinked their goblets of pumpkin juice.

* * *

Professor Slughorn was late to class. This was not unusual as he tended to forget all about day and time when he was sufficiently taken by a book, spell or potion. What was out of the ordinary, however, was that Caradoc Dearborn entered the classroom with a rose in his mouth and his robes charmed bright red. He went straight to the teacher's desk and climbed on top of it.

He took the rose out of his mouth and cleared his throat loudly, which successfully quieted the class of sixth years as they waited for what was next.

"A fool am I to ever think a better wit a guy could fit for I am but a man who did not win a single thing" A silence followed Caradoc's words, but it was short-lived. Most of the class laughed, a few Hufflepuffs clapped but it was Caradoc's housemate who took pity on him.

"Oi, mate! What are you on? Get down from there" Caradoc's friend, Eddie Brown, called at him.

"He's finally lost it" Marlene whispered in Lily's ear and the redhead sent Marlene a full grin in response. Both of the girls were curious to see what the barmy boys now had come up with.

"This price I have to pay is much to my dismay and my heart it feels so terribly silly as I admit to have lost the most uh, the most, uh lovely-" Caradoc wore a look of slight panic as he forgot the words and a pink tinge could be spotted on his cheeks. Marlene was a little impressed that he had been able to keep his cool for as long as he had.

"-Luscious!" came a voice from the corridor and all the students turned at the sound of what had to be James Potter's voice but he did not show himself yet.

"Right! _Luscious_ Lily!"

All eyes turned to Lily Evans, who instantly looked like a deer caught in headlights as she realised she was about to be dragged into whatever went on. Caradoc jumped from the table and went to stand in front of Lily.

"No no no" Lily muttered so quietly only Marlene, who sat next to her, could hear. She now had the attention of the entire classroom.

"A lovely rose for thee my lady it's proof of no thing that is shady but is a sign of endless love from the great James Potter just above"

As Caradoc placed the rose on the table in front of Lily, the ceiling started to rain with scarlet rose petals that landed in empty cauldrons and everywhere around the classroom. Lily rolled her eyes dramatically and sat back in her seat with her arms crossed over her chest. She wore an unimpressed look on her face and Marlene thought Caradoc a little brave not to grow smaller under it. Lily Evans had many years' experience at being courted and as a result had perfected her glare to make the receiver lose all sense of confidence. So far, the only person immune to the glare was James Potter.

"I s'pose you lost the broom race?" Lily said in a collected matter. She managed to seem calm and unbothered despite the fact that she had rose petals in her hair and on her robes.

"So, it appears, malady" Caradoc told her. He bowed to her once, winked at Marlene next to her, and went back on top of the teacher's table.

He turned back to face the class and raised his fist in the air.

"All hail James Potter: King of Quidditch!" Caradoc yelled as loud as he could. Clearly, he and James and Remus had expected this sentence to be followed by wild applause as the two marauders entered the classroom the next moment with bright smiles on their faces. James winked at Lily, who threw the rose at James with a smirk on her face and a noticeable blush on her cheeks.

"I'm going to take points from you lot if you don't sit your potty arses down soon!" Lily warned them.

However, she didn't get the chance to threaten the boys further as Professor Slughorn entered the classroom the next moment.

"What in merlin's beard is going on here?" he asked as he took in the scene of Caradoc on the teacher's table and rose petals all around the classroom.

"I just declared my endless love to Evans, sir" James confidently informed the potions master.

The professor's eyes found Lily, who was in the midst of removing a petal from Marlene's hair, and his frown turned into a smile.

"Who could blame you, M'boy? Lovely lady, Ms. Evans is" Professor Slughorn said and casually moved to his table.

Caradoc quickly jumped down from it and took his seat next to Eddie Brown.

"Did you notice that Evans blushed more at Slughorn's compliment than yours?" Remus said loudly as he and James sat down in the seats behind Marlene and Lily.

"Don't worry, Moony" James said in a hopeful voice as he watched Lily "I'm wearing her down".

* * *

"Did you like the show today?"

Marlene was sat in her favourite corridor where nobody ever went because Peeves was quite taken to it, when she was interrupted. She had skived off Ancient Runes to allow herself a moment of quiet. Despite this she was not all that disappointed when she saw who interrupted her.

Sirius Black stood in front of her and Marlene instantly sat up a little straighter, which sent the spell book she'd been reading off her lap and onto the stone floor.

Sirius Black's grey eyes met hers and he smiled his signature smirk at her.

"Why am I not surprised that you were a part of it?" Marlene said as she watched him. There was something new in the way he smiled at her. Something that hadn't shown itself last year and that Marlene hoped would never go away.

"Technically, _I_ won the broom race. I however did my mate a solid and let him have the price"

"Please promise me that you'll refer to Lily as James' price when she hears it and I'm there" Marlene said with a wicked grin on her face.

"Do you like surprises?" he asked her, and his eyebrow rose in a suggestive manner.

"Depends" Marlene instantly told him, "Though if you ever do write me a poem I might die from laughter"

"Didn't know you felt that way about me" Sirius said and pretended to be miffed. However, the way he winked at her made her feel that he knew exactly what kind of power he had over her. Marlene blushed as she realised how her words might've sounded. Also, she felt like she'd just given herself away on a silver platter. She pushed two curls behind her ears and retrieved her book from the floor. She only pretended to read. There was absolutely no part of her brain that could focus on her homework when Sirius Black was not only close but had focused his attention on her.

"Bugger off" was all she told him.

He grinned, "Come with me"

Marlene watched him in amazement as this was the first time Sirius Black willingly suggested to spend time with her.

"Why would I?" she challenged him. He rose one eyebrow at her as if he had somehow not thought she'd had the nerve to talk back.

He said, "I have a surprise for you"

"Is it dangerous?" she asked.

"Most definitely" he told her with a sly smile on his lips. When he looked at her like that she felt as if her knees were too weak for her to ever get up off the floor. She'd have to die here or hope that Mary found her later in the day and carried her back to Gryffindor tower.

However, that was not what she showed him.

"How can a girl say no to that?" she responded and accepted the hand he offered to help her up.

* * *

"Nu-uh. No way. I'm going back to my corridor"

"Come on, Venus! You said it yourself that you wanted to, didn't you?"

Marlene snorted, "I didn't mean _today_ "

"Riding a broomstick should be every witch or wizard's birth right"

"Sod off you sound like James" Marlene said. She stood at the very end of the Quidditch Pitch and watched Sirius with a dismayed look on her face. He'd nicked James' broomstick and had gotten it into his head that he was to teach her how to fly.

"Why don't you like flying?" he asked as he handed her the broomstick. She accepted it involuntarily and made sure to scowl at him as she did.

"The heights" Marlene instantly responded as it was her main concern "Also, I was born without a sense of balance"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Is that all?"

"The wind makes my hair go all puffy" Marlene said and gestured wildly around her head of blonde curls to demonstrate what the horrible outcome would look like.

"I _have_ to see that" he said with a wink to which she responded by flipping him off.

Of all the things Marlene imagined that Mary had thought of when she told her to find another outlet for her emotions, she was certain that none of them involved Sirius Black. Mary was not a fan of the boy as she thought he caused people nothing but headaches or heartaches. Marlene was also aware that it was probably not the most clever method for her to unwind by letting herself be messed around with by him but it worked and so she didn't care to stop herself.

"Alright, Venus, what if I get on with you?" he asked. Suddenly, his proposition got a whole lot more interesting.

She placed her hands on her hips and watched him as she weighed her options. She knew that if she did this she would very likely start about a thousand misinterpreted rumors about her and Sirius. Ones that would include far more suggestive possibilities to what activities they enjoyed together. However, she was also almost painfully aware that the time she'd spent on the pitch arguing with him was the first time in a while she had smiled for more than a few seconds at a time. His little stunt – however gruntled she acted – had made her feel more alive than she had in weeks.

"I may have found a new plan to serenity" she whispered in his ear a few minutes later as they hovered a few feet above the ground. He turned his head to be able to hear what she said. He lifted a hand to his forehead to shield his eyes from the sun. Marlene nervously eyed the one hand that was still on the broomstick.

"Alright, let's hear it"

"Step one: don't tell Black to go fuck himself" Marlene said without trouble. He barked out a laughter that sounded much too pure to have ever come from the person she knew him to be. She was beginning to think that there were many more sides to Sirius Black than the handsome one that met the eye.

"What's step two then?" he asked.

"Step two: Seriously, don't do it" she said. He laughed again, and they rose higher into the air.

Sirius moved his body expertly as they soared – higher and higher and higher into the sky. The broomstick moved however he wanted, and Marlene was instantly impressed by the skills that she usually had to only admire from the ground. It was a whole new experience to join in on them. She made sure to keep her arms wrapped securely around Sirius' middle. First, she felt nervous and hid her face against the back of his jumper. Her legs were just dangling under her as she soared on a piece of wood higher towards the blue September sky. Despite that she slowly felt her muscles relax a little and she dared turn her head to see the view. A rush of panic went through her body as she saw how high off the ground they were, but it only lasted a moment. She took in the beautiful view of the castle grounds and allowed herself to let go of her fears for the time being. She leaned back a little and let the air wrap around her. This was the tranquility she had so mistakenly sought earlier with the bludger. This was a moment where she could breathe and didn't have to think about anything or anyone. She let out a laugh so quietly it was but a breath, but she could feel Sirius chuckle as an effect from it.

She had never felt so free in her entire life.

* * *

Her freedom was over comically fast. The moment the two Gryffindors touched ground they were met by their head of house, Professor McGonagall. She did not look one bit pleased that Marlene had taken to joyriding on stolen brooms with the school's number one heartbreaker and had barely uttered a word before they had both received detention for skiving off class.

Sirius was overjoyed as he was the first marauder of the year to get a detention. Marlene, not so much. This was her first detention since second year and again she felt inadequate as a person her younger siblings should be able to look up to. The blissful happy she'd just felt on the broomstick was quickly gone and she felt silly that she had let herself be blinded by the charm of Sirius Black. She knew Mary was going to have her head for this and she did not look forward to that discussion.

Marlene left Sirius and the professor as quickly as she could and made her way to the Great Hall to meet her dormmates for supper. It turned out that she was in luck. The girls were much too distracted by their own conversation to ask Marlene why she hadn't been to class.

"You should go talk to him" Marlene overheard Lily tell Dorcas as she sat down next to her. Lily clearly hoped to sound encouraging.

The message was not well received.

"It's not that simple! What would I even say?" Dorcas asked and looked in the direction of the person who was the topic of their conversation. Marlene didn't have to follow her friend's gaze to know who it was. Like her, Dorcas had fallen under the terrible curse of fancying a marauder.

"Don't worry about that" Alice encouraged her, "Remus is your friend. You'll find that talking to him is natural"

"Oh, please" Marlene said and snorted before she could help herself. Lily and Alice both turned to her with shocked looks on their faces, but Dorcas looked entirely unbothered.

"What she means is that it can be hard to find words near someone you fancy" Mary said as she took the seat next to Marlene, who shot her best friend a grateful look.

"Say it a little louder so they can hear you at the teacher's table, too" Dorcas grumbled at Mary and began to spear her carrots with a fork.

All the girls simultaneously looked up as the marauders strolled into the Great Hall. They were always easy to identify as they were unnecessarily loud wherever they went be it a classroom, the Great Hall, the common room or a pub. They always communicated with a complete disregard of their surroundings and it was a wonder that no one had ever overhead them plan a prank.

Sirius looked up as they entered and caught Marlene's eye and he instantly winked at her. She turned her head away at once and suddenly grew very interested in piling food onto her plate.

"You know, he might even fancy you too" Lily said in a kind voice as she watched Dorcas' expression turn soft as she watched the boys.

Dorcas scoffed, "Don't be ridiculous"

"It won't hurt anyone to let him know that you're interested" Alice said, but Dorcas pushed her food away in a defiant manner.

"Yes, it will! It will hurt me worse than a fall off my broomstick when I'm turned down and have to face him every bloody day!" she said. The four other girls all met each other's eyes but stayed quiet for a moment.

Mary reached out and grabbed Dorcas' hand.

"Oh, love. You're so wonderfully dramatic"

"Piss off!" Dorcas said, but only a moment passed before she asked "Fine! How do I let him know then?"

"You could ask him to walk you to class tomorrow morning" Alice suggested with a bright smile.

"Lame" Lily said.

"That's so daft. What if he has a free period?" Dorcas said.

Quietly, Mary piped up "He doesn't"

Marlene watched her best friend sink a little in her seat and felt a smile grow on her lips.

"Really, Mare? How could you possibly know that?"

"I might've done some research" Mary sheepishly admitted, "I figured memorizing his schedule wouldn't hurt anyone!"

"Oh no, here we go" Lily laughed. Mary stuck her tongue out at her.

Dorcas smiled gratefully, while Marlene was about to injure herself as she clasped her hands over her face and ran them down her face. Mary had a bad habit of getting overinvested in her friends' love lives. She had promised them all to stay out of it in fourth year after an unfortunate incident that involved Alice, a Ravenclaw student and fungi.

"Maybe _you_ should date him" Alice suggested, and Mary stuck her tongue out at her mocking friend.

"I still don't know" Dorcas said quietly, and she watched Remus with a pensive look on her face. Dorcas was tough as nails whenever she was on a broomstick. She had yet to learn though how to be that confident off one as well.

"Fine" Lily surrendered, "I mean, maybe I should have a go at him myself"

"Fair enough" Marlene agreed, "If Doe's too scared…"

"Oh, I hate the lot of you" Dorcas said, but a nervous giggle followed and revealed her lack of anger. Alice smiled brilliantly, and Marlene winked at her as they all watched their friend get up from her seat.

"You're gorgeous, love!" Lily told her.

Mary said, "Most cracking seeker in the whole castle!"

Dorcas rolled her eyes, but she seemed to have calmed down a little at their comments. She looked over at the boys and back at her friends one last time. Her eyebrows were collected in a mask of worry.

"If he turns me down I'm not leaving the dorm for a month"

Marlene smiled, "That sounds about fair".

Marlene had meant to watch Dorcas possible win a boy's heart or make a complete fool of herself but something at the other end of the Great Hall caught her eye.

Evan Rosier watched her.

She had no question that she was the subject of his attention and even with the distance between them, she felt the hairs on her arm stand. A shiver ran through her. One that made her feel cold and hollow. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't. Memories of that one fateful night forced itself into her mind and fought to be her only thought.

* * *

 _The only sound in the cold alleyway was the small clicks as the heels of Marlene's boots met the wet pavement. It was august, but that did not mean that the weather had been kind to any. A seemingly never-ending shake of rain hit her shoulders and wetted the hair she had pulled back from her face. The swish of her ponytail could be heard against the fabric of her jacket, and she pulled it closer as a shudder ran through her. Knockturn Alley was definitely not a place for a girl like her._

 _It was dangerous, no doubt. Awfully stupid, too, and yet she could not bring herself to feel bad about it. You see, in Marlene's mind there really wasn't a choice to be made. It was not as if she could choose not to go there and not to see them. She had to, if she wanted her life to go on as it always had. She knew her plan was not likely to succeed. She knew she would not return victorious. No one but the Dark Lord did these days. However, she still had to try for her family. She couldn't help it._

 _She chewed her lips as she folded her right hand into a fist and knocked thrice, hard. She would not go to war quietly. Even if the price would be her life she would make sure she was taken down with pride._

 _She thought of what her family would say, if they knew she was here. She thought of the worry and the pain she'd most likely have caused them had they known her plan. However, she had not told a single soul where she had gone. It was a strategy served to surprise the people behind the door in front of her. That, and she was certain her friends or family would have tried to stop her from going. She had decided a month ago that she simply couldn't let them have the chance. The thing was that she was too aware that there were very little things in her life that she could control. That was why she bloody well had to at least try to control this._

 _And what was this? Only the most daring and reckless thing she had ever attempted in her short life. It was not just dancing at the edge of danger, but plummeting face-first into the battle site._

 _The second she entered the store she had the sudden urge to turn on her heel and leave. The only thing that kept her going was the slight hope that her plan would work._

* * *

"Are you okay?" Mary asked.

Marlene was shaken out of her thoughts and pulled back to Mary as she spoke. Rosier had turned his head away from her. Marlene reminded herself to breathe. The truth of what she had done almost choked her and she knew that Rosier knew exactly what he did to her. She had so gloriously failed, and she knew he felt victorious. Until her dying day she'd work to change that.

"Yes" Marlene lied and forced a smile. She feared she'd never be able to answer that question with anything but a _no_ for the rest of her life.


End file.
